Manage Me: A Vagabond Romance Read online

  "I think that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard," I said softly, as we paused to kiss in the darkness of the woods.

  Things progressed quickly after that. Before I knew it, Ryan had set down the flashlight and had me pressed up against a tree as our hands explored one another in the dark. It was erotic, exciting, and exhilarating to be out in the night air and feeling each other's desires.

  This was the same man: I could feel it in his lips. My body reacted the same way it always did to his touch. In the dark, I felt our connection even more than I ever had. My mouth opened for him as his smoothly shaven face pressed against mine.

  The sensations were overwhelming for me. He pushed my sweater up, exposing my breasts to the cool night air, and wrapped his mouth around my nipple. My hands carded through his hair and met by the short, clean-cut version that I would need to get used to.

  I reached for his zipper and felt his erection spring free, wrapping my fingers around his familiar girth. I longed to feel him inside of me. I'd burn up before we made it back to the hotel. Ryan seemed to have the same urge as he pushed my pants down and pushed me harder against the tree, bending down to press his mouth to me. Growling, I pulled him up, guiding his penis toward my entrance

  "Are you sure you're ready?" he muttered, waiting for my approval.

  "I need you in me," I groaned, guiding him to where he needed to be.

  It was true. The craving was urgent, and I knew it wouldn't go away until I felt his body and mine fit together again. Our conversation earlier had brought us so much closer than before. Even seeing him as he was here and learning about his family made me feel that a deeper bond was growing than what I'd intended. He was so much more than just a fling; I wanted to see where this might go. I needed to see what could happen with this chemistry and affection that the two of us had for each other.

  Ryan's hands were under each of my legs, and he held me as if I weighed nothing at all. The tree supported me from behind, but Ryan was doing all the real heavy lifting. Literally. I'd never imagined making love in the dark woods before, so the logistics of this had never entered my mind, but he was getting to greater depths than ever before with each thrust.

  My body pulsed with ecstasy as he pushed into me. Our lips stayed locked onto one another, and I felt each thrust as the air left his lungs in a perfect rhythm. Soon my own air was getting caught in my lungs; I tried to catch my breath as the wave of pleasure broke over me. There was no way of backing up. No way of breaking away from him as my orgasm radiated through me and I tightened around him.

  "Ryan," I groaned, and my voice echoed through the woods.

  I held on tightly as the waves rocked through to my core. I'd never come like this before. It had been deep; not just a surface explosion, but a full-body release that I didn't even know I'd been missing. My legs started to shake as he chased his own release, coming in the midst of my second orgasm. I thought for a second about how it was my first multiple orgasm experience before I came again and couldn't think at all.

  Chapter 19

  Dakota

  “Are you okay?" He nuzzled up into my neck and held me as my body quaked with aftershocks.

  "Oh, I'm great," I laughed weakly.

  "Can we do that every night?" Ryan asked as he set me down and we rummaged around to find our clothing.

  It didn't escape me that my need to pee had become even more urgent than before. I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it to the lighthouse or back to the hotel.

  "I'm going to go over there for a second," I said, trying not to give away that I needed to use the lack of facilities.

  "Do you want me to shine a light for you?"

  "No!" I blurted out. "I'm fine, just give me a second. And turn around!" I yelled and forcibly pushed him to face in the opposite direction.

  I felt around the wooded area and found a tree to hold onto as I squatted down close to the ground and relieved myself. I felt our sticky residue on my thighs as I tried not to think about how he could hear me peeing.

  "I'm going to pee," Ryan said as if to give me permission not to be embarrassed.

  Sure enough, his stream was much louder than mine and allowed me the time I needed to get myself together. I loved that he'd willingly lowered his defenses at the same time as me, and it had released me from the embarrassment of the moment.

  After stumbling around in the dark to get dressed again, we finally came back together and finished our walk to the lighthouse. We kept hold of each other's hands and walked the rest of the way as if we'd known each other for years. I felt more comfortable in that moment with Ryan than I'd ever felt with anyone.

  I was more confident around Ryan. He made me feel complete within myself. When we had conversations, I felt like an active participant. This sort of connection was something I hadn't even allowed myself to imagine. As we saw the lighthouse in the distance, I laughed a little bit at the idea that I'd almost married Cody. What a disaster I'd avoided.

  For the last few weeks, I thought I'd avoided dealing with any of my issues. I thought I'd just been messing around and playing chicken with life's problems, but the truth was that I was seeing everything a lot more clearly than ever before. This relationship with Ryan might not go past our time here (although I very much wanted to see if it could), but regardless, it was clear that I deserved so much better than what I'd had with Cody.

  "Everything okay?" Ryan asked as I was wrapped up in my internal thoughts.

  "Yes. I'm just happy to be here with you," I blurted out, so loudly that I couldn't help but laugh as I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. "I can't believe I almost didn't come. I'm glad Lauren talked me into it, even if she had ulterior motives."

  "Yeah, I thought Jacob was going to stick around longer. I hope she's keeping herself out of trouble."

  I snorted. "Nope, she's back there rocking an orgy with her Russian authors."

  I thought about my wonderful friend, and how she'd had more wisdom than I'd credited her within pushing me to come on this trip with her. She'd known that there was an inner part of me that I'd been struggling to get to know and that I'd need to understand that part before I could even think about looking for love elsewhere.

  "There it is," Ryan announced, as we stood on the overlook that looked out over the lighthouse.

  "It's beautiful. Can we go in?"

  "I think it's locked, but let's go check," he grabbed me and pulled me behind him as we ran down the hill toward the bright rotating light.

  I felt like a teenager breaking the rules as we whispered and giggled our way down to the building. He held his finger to his lips, unable to stop his smile.

  "Does someone live here?" I asked, looking around us for signs of life. "We should go. I don't want to get in trouble."

  "No, we're fine. Let's check," he said, knocking on the door at the bottom of the lighthouse. I hid behind him, terrified of an angry someone actually opening the door.

  There was no answer, so Ryan knocked again. It didn't sound like anyone was moving inside and there were no cars around, so I guessed that was that. The water was nearby, though, its lapping drawing me towards it like a siren song.

  "Let's go to the water," I urged.

  This time I pulled him behind me as we walked the path down to the water. Ryan used his flashlight to illuminate the path in front of us, and as we came up over a small hill, I caught my breath at the beauty in front of us.

  The moon was bright over the ocean and gave enough light to the beach that Ryan was able to turn his flashlight off.

  "I'm really glad you came," Ryan said as we sat down in the sand. "Did I tell you that already? I'm sorry, I just want you to know I am happy you're here. I'm going to be really busy during the days, but I can always take a long lunch, and we can spend the evenings together if you'd like."

  "Oh, can we?" I teased.

  "Sorry, I didn't mean to imply you'll be in my bed every night. I was just..."

  "It's okay. I'll want to be in your
bed," I interrupted.

  "Good," he said and leaned in close to me.

  The way his hand touched my face made my whole body shiver, or maybe it was the breeze coming in from off the ocean. I snuggled in close to Ryan, and he caught me into an embrace. Soon I was sitting between his legs, his arms holding me tightly as we gazed out at the moon.

  "How long will you be able to stay?" he asked.

  "I don't have a time frame. I guess eventually I'll need to go back home."

  "Why?"

  I paused at the question. Why did I have to go back to Lauren's apartment? Because it was where all my things were? Because I'd called it home for a couple of years and hadn't considered moving anywhere else? Realistically, though, I didn't have to go back. I didn't have a job there; I would be starting over soon and could probably do that anywhere. But I wasn't exactly sure what Ryan was asking.

  "It's my home," I said.

  "But you've quit your job. Is there another reason you'd need to go back? I'm not saying you need to run around the world with me. But how do you know that it's where you want to be? Perhaps this is the perfect time for you to explore all of your options."

  "What are you saying?" I asked, turning around to look at him.

  "I don't really know. I just like spending time with you, and I'd be okay if we did it for a little longer than a few weeks."

  "Really?" I asked, smiling at him like a school girl.

  "Yeah. I'll need to be at this hotel for a month, at least. Maybe we could start with that? You might get bored, though. I do have to work a lot."

  "No, I wouldn't get bored," I reassured him. "I do have that book to work on. It's kind of been calling my name lately."

  "We don't need to make a decision this second, but please think about it. I'd be happy if you stayed. I just want a little more time with you."

  "Okay," I smiled.

  We stayed on the beach for as long as I could stand it, but the freezing wind eventually drove us back to the hotel. With every step, I was happier that I'd come, and that Ryan seemed to want more in the way that I did. I wasn't sure what exactly we were doing, but it was upgraded from a fling.

  When we reached the hotel, I let go of Ryan's hand as we walked in the main door. I didn't know if it would be weird for him to be seen holding someone's hand when he was the owner of the place, but he quickly grabbed it back and pulled it to his mouth for a kiss. I almost melted on the expensive tile floor.

  So many of the qualities that I hadn't even dreamed of in a man were visible in how Ryan had treated me over the course of the night. He had been sweet while we were in San Francisco, but I hadn't allowed myself the possibility to really fall for him. Now, as we boarded the elevator and headed to his hotel room, I didn't think I'd ever felt more connected to another person.

  "Have you tried the bathtub yet?" he asked while opening his door.

  "Actually I did, but I didn't stay in long. It was so comfortable I thought I'd fall asleep and drown."

  "Should we go for a swim in mine?"

  "Yes, I'd love that."

  What was this romance that Ryan was throwing out? I felt like a princess as he started the bathwater. He grabbed a couple of towels and set them next to the tub before he started to gently remove my clothes.

  Delicately he folded my sweater and put it aside before taking my bra, jeans, and panties off. With each item he took off me, he took the same amount of time with until I was standing there, naked, waiting for him.

  "You get in first," he grabbed my hand and helped me into the tub.

  I couldn't take my eyes off him, and he threw his clothing off to the side with abandon and stood next to the tub. He was erect. Throbbing for me. Yet his eyes passed lovingly over me as he climbed into the giant tub behind me. He pulled me in front of him like we had been sitting on the beach.

  "This is perfect," I sighed and let my head rest on his chest.

  I was exhausted. In that tub with him I felt safe, loved, and excited for my future. For the first time in a month, I felt totally relaxed and comfortable in my own skin. I wasn't worrying about the next day. I wasn't thinking about my past. The only thing that mattered was the comfort of his arms.

  The whole day had been equal parts exciting and exhausting. I couldn't keep my eyes open and let myself drift off in the reassurance of his embrace.

  Chapter 20

  Ryan

  Dakota was so tired that she barely stayed awake long enough for me to wrap her in a towel and carry her off to bed. We were both exhausted, so I slid under the covers with her and held her close as we drifted off. It was the first time the two of us had just slept together.

  Since the moment Dakota had arrived at Redwoods, I'd started seeing her differently than I'd seen her at the hostel. I'm sure she saw me a lot differently too, and not just because of my hair and beard. This was the real me. I was more vulnerable dressed in this suit than I ever had been back in San Francisco. This was the man I'd run away from, and yet this was me. I understood now that I really did thrive on the high paced environment of our hotels and that this was where I was meant to be.

  Being in Big Sur energized me. Jason had been doing a fantastic job with the staff and the facility. The next step was to work on the marketing and getting more big business to go with our rebrand, like corporate retreats, conferences and large private parties. Those large-scale events were how we brought in significant revenue at our hotels, and the Big Sur property had been struggling in that aspect. But I was ready to work on it. I'd already made calls to important event planners all over the state, telling them we were prepared to fill in if they had any last minute cancelations.

  After sleeping only five hours, I had to get up and get down to the office. I moved around the room as quietly as possible and snuck out without waking Dakota up. It was a lot easier to sneak around in a giant suite than it was in the small room I had at the hostel.

  I hated leaving Dakota there in bed. It was physically difficult for me to close the door behind me, knowing that she was lying there naked and would wake up without me next to her. I did leave her a note, and I would send breakfast up for her later, but it still pained me.

  Of course, Wendy was already waiting for me in the office when I arrived. It didn't matter how early I was; she always seemed to beat me. I already knew that I wanted to groom her to take over as official general manager when it was time for me to move on. She was hard-working, and the staff trusted her already.

  "You look busy. What's going on?" I asked as I saw her clicking through all the reservations we had on file.

  "A law firm from Los Angeles just asked to do their retreat here. It sounds like their scheduled venue had to back out. We can do it, but it'll take a little rearranging. Do you think you could share a room with your girlfriend?"

  "Girlfriend?" I asked with a lurch to my gut.

  "Yeah. I know she has her friend with her, but would that be okay? I need your room."

  "Um, yes. Of course, that would be fine," I stumbled over the words

  I hadn't considered Dakota, my girlfriend. It wasn't a bad thing, and I wouldn't mind calling her that. But I hadn't had a girlfriend in a very long time so the word still held some bad memories form the last big relationship I'd messed up.

  The last woman I'd considered my girlfriend had been a lovely woman, except for the minor problem that she hadn't been in love with me; she'd just been using me to get back at her ex-boyfriend, showing him how much better her life could be without him and trying to make him jealous. When it all came out, I'd hated that I hadn't seen the warning signs ahead of time and kicked myself for actually starting to think she might last. So the girlfriend label still sat like a brick in my stomach.

  I could already tell that whatever was going on with Dakota and me was different, though. We related on so many different levels that I could have sworn we would be the perfect couple. Spiritually we talked about things that we both found powerful in our lives. We related to each other's past and even
welcomed the ideas of the future. Her humor matched up with mine. The way she looked at me and smiled made my heart melt. This thing between us was much more than just fun. It had to be.

  "So we'll be booked solid," Wendy said, wincing a little.

  "What? That's a good thing. We need to be busy."

  "Ryan, we don't have the staff for a full hotel. I'm barely keeping things at the front desk running now. The housekeeping staff is short by half. The restaurant only has enough servers for dinner service. We can't have all these people here and then give them bad service, that will defeat the purpose."

  That gave me pause. "True. So how can we solve this?"

  The two of us sat for a good thirty minutes trying to figure out what to do next. This was the opportunity of a lifetime for the resort and turning this group away wasn't something I could afford to do. But I also couldn't put the staff through that level of stress, either.

  "I think we should tell the group that we can't accommodate them," Wendy said reluctantly. "I want to take them. I really do. But we just can't do it. The staff would have to work double shifts all week, and most of them have already been working a lot of overtime."

  "I've got an idea," I said, jumping up and grabbing my coffee. "Let's go to the morning meeting."

  "What? Don't you think we should finish this? I need to call them back if we can't handle the group."

  "Wendy, do you trust me?"

  After a brief pause, she said, "Yes," and shook her head back and forth, exhaling as if I was driving her crazy. "But we need to call them back."

  We walked into the conference room where someone had already started their own music. People were talking and laughing and getting the day started the best they could. It felt weird that this would be the first meeting I got to lead, and I had to start it with a problem.

  "Can someone turn the music off for a second?!" I hollered to the group at large.